听Santa Monica

在听Santa Monica。

这是一首我在高中时代常听的歌儿。

那时候，住8人的拥挤宿舍，用180块钱的爱华随身听，听18块钱的盗版磁带盘。

In Santa Monica, in the wintertime

The lazy streets so undemanding

I walk into the crowd

In Santa Monica you get your coffee from

The coolest places on the promenade

Where people dress just so

Beauty so unavoidable

everywhere you turn

It’s there

I sit and wonder what am I doing here?

But on the telephone line I am anyone

I am anything I want to be

I could be a supermodel or Norman Mailer

And you wouldn’t know the difference

Or would you?

In Santa Monica, all the people got

Modern names

Like Jake or Mandy

And modern bodies too

In Santa Monica, on the boulevard,

You’ll have to dodge those in-line skaters

Or they’ll knock you down

I never felt so lonely,

Never felt so out of place

I never wanted something more than this

But on the telephone line I am anyone

I am anything I want to be

I could be a supermodel or Norman Mailer

And you wouldn’t know the difference

On the telephone line, I am any height

I am any age I want to be

I could be a caped crusader, or

space invader

And you would know the difference

Or would you?

Or would you?

on the telephone line I am anyone

I am anything I want to be

I could be a supermodel or Norman Mailer

And you wouldn’t know the difference

On the telephone line, I am any height

I am any age I want to be

I could be a caped crusader, or

space invader

And you would know the difference

Or would you?

现在，我正带着耳机在听这首歌。

耳机是一个很奇妙的东西。无论周围多么喧哗嘈杂，她都能把那一切隔绝到外面去。于是你便能孤独而纯粹的投入到自己在听的声音、在酝酿的情绪中去，就像独自一人躲进一间小屋。

我就躲在这样一间小屋中，品味着这一瞬间的、有着致命诱惑力的、奢侈的孤独。

一转眼，那在高中寝室听歌的日子，都已经过了十几年。很难想象，十几年前的自己，会不会认可自己当前的状态。

那时候环境总是很安静，听这首Santa Monica，只是觉得嗓音和旋律好听、唱歌的技法很棒，于是对它喜欢的不行。只是在最后，电话挂断，嘟嘟忙音响起的时候，才会感觉到那种难以言述的失落怅然。

现在再听这首歌，却只剩下孤独了。